Sunday, April 5, 2015

Medusa Graces the "Cover" of Sports Illustrated

Now the fun part of writing for my own blog, is that I don't have to follow the rules all the time. While I obviously base this blog around the paranormal, mysteries, and odd culture...once in awhile I get to publicly unleash the inner geek in me. This morning she shrieked in delight, right in the middle of Walgreen's. Heading to the cashier something immediately caught my eye. A full spread addition of "Sports Illustrated" donning the ssssserpentine mystical monster, Medusa.


Curious about this cover, (which is actually the backside of the magazine, the other side showing model Hannah Davis), I began to research the marketing behind this cover of Sports Illustrated, which is named "Super Irritated" for this special addition. It seems the magazine has allowed some creative marketing control to the geniuses that put Danny Trejo's character Machete and actor Steve Buscemi, right in the heart of the Brady Bunches household. Snicker's decided to use this opportunity to show what happens when models get hungry, and boy is it fabulous.


Now you might ask, what's the big deal? Why blog about it? How does it pertain to you? Let me tell  you. Growing up as a kid (as I've said earlier in my blog) I was horrified by literally e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. Having a big brother that was absolutely fanatical by everything horror or sci-fi, this made me pretty much a constant victim of things I didn't want to see.

1981's adaptation of Mythical Monster, Medusa, in Clash of the Titans
1981's Clash Of The Titans was very popular growing up. While I adored the movie, Medusa scared the shit out of me. Odd thing is, she scared me, but I also thought she was fucking fabulous. Anytime I played with my friends, I was always Medusa or something close to. Let's put it this way. When we played He-Man, I was never Teela. I was always Evil Lyn. That's right, I had an affinity for bad bitches and I still do. Jem and the Holograms? No thanks. I wanted to be The Misfits. I don't think much has changed in my 38 years. I still love to see the super villainess get her time in spotlight.

Evil Lyn by Dean-Irvine
Every villainess has a story before she was turned into a bad girl, which is exactly why I love them. Usually something in her past has caused her to flip her shit and take on a murderous rage. Just ask Maleficent.

A little background on Medusa, for those who don't know. She is one of three Gorgon sisters, the granddaughter of the Goddess Gaea (Earth) and God Oceanus(Ocean). Medusa was a beautiful blond woman with fair skin. She was the priestess to the daughter of Zeus, Athena. Like Athena, Medusa vowed her life to celibacy. But, as most women do, Medusa fell in love. Forgetting her vows, she fell for Poseidon, the God of the sea. For this she suffered the harshest of punishments. Medusa was cursed by Athena to become a hideous monster and turned her beautiful head of golden hair to serpents. Her beauty diminished, her eyes turned furious and her beautiful fair skin turned green. Those men who once looked upon her with love and admiration would now turn to stone by simply glancing at her. Medusa fled to Africa to escape being shunned by by the rest of the world. Possessing the most powerful ability to destroy anything, she would only escape her pain and fury at the hand of Perseus, whom steals her head to defeat the Kraken.

Perseus using Medusa's decapitated head to defeat the Kraken.
Poor Medusa. I'd consider her more of a victim than a villain.

Anyway- Here I am geeking out in the middle of Walgreen's. I'm standing there gawking at Sports Illustrated with the enthusiasm I see most 30 something year old men unknowingly displaying in the Star Wars aisle of Toy's R' Us. I open the Magazine. I admit I'm impressed with Hannah Davis's cover. She must be a good sport and have a great sense of humor. For that, I commend her. Not to mention, she really is an absolutely gorgeous girl, props on that too, I'm no hater.

Front and back covers of Sports Illustrated featuring Hannah Davis as herself, and herself as a hungry Medusa.

Either way, I think that this edition of S.I. is truly marketing genius. While I know they have no problem getting men to crack their pages looking for the next up and coming beauty to lay their eyes upon, they have also caused people like me who might not otherwise pay attention, to check it out and maybe even pick up a copy. It'll definitely make a great piece for collectors of the strange like myself. If you didn't know Hannah before, I'm pretty sure this cover has immortalized her for a very memorable collectible edition of a very popular magazine. I hope to see future editions like this. *hint hint S.I.* 

Saturday, April 4, 2015

The Easter Bunny is Sketchy as F*ck (Pictorial)

Scanning the interwebs tonight, I had the goal in mind to find some cute vintage Easter Bunny pictures to put up on my Facebook. What I came up with, is the sort of thing nightmares are made of. 

Forget ghosts, demons, and clowns. The Easter Bunny is sketchy as fuck, in any decade! 

These creepy bunnies could put John Wayne Gacy's "Pogo The Clown" to shame.

Screaming children. Impatient demanding parents. The buzz and chaos of shopping centers. Itchy, overheated. Slowly slipping away into a dark lonely maddness in the middle of the mall.


It's the same concept that makes clowns scary. Exactly what type of deranged thoughts might be brewing behind the whiskers? What dark, hidden secrets lie within the poor soul imprisoned inside the costume? What peers from the vacant eye holes of these seemingly innocent bunnies?

Under paid. Under appreciated. Cold. Calculated. Emotionless. Silent.

Why must you grin at me like so Easter Bunny?

Why?

Blasted fluffy white hell.


It's only a little time before one snaps.


Even the ones you might see here and think, "Oh that one's not that bad!"... Yeah... check the kids out screaming in sheer terror. If kids or animals don't like you, you know there must be something creepy and unsettling about you!

Parents are sadistic bastards in the name of  tradition.

I foretell lots of therapy in these children's future.




























































Happy Easter Kiddies!